The point of a fast is to give up something to turn your focus on God. Not to be flashy about it, not to say “Hey, I’m fasting!” I am actually only telling you I am fasting in order to help you understand the next several blogs are going to be about.

We are reading a book, “Secrets of the Secret Place” by Bob Sorge.

We are striving as a church to step back from “doing” anything and finding out what He wants us to do. We are trying to learn how to listen to God’s direction and follow it and to get to know Him on a deeper level than ever before.

Of course this also means if we, as a people, are working to put our focus on God then someone isn’t happy. You know who I mean. That guy. The other one. The one who doesn’t like us to pay attention to God. You know his name so I don’t really need to bother you with the details. He hates it when we stop being mediocre and just getting by. He really hates it when we start thinking about how we can serve God better. He gets pretty mad when we start trying to enrich our relationship with God. So he does things to get our focus off God.

Take the last 36 hours for example. Certain events have happened to make me angry, upset, use words I really don’t intend to use, and make me even a little sick at my stomach. Some of the events are serious enough I can’t actually talk about it. Really. Others are just minor irritating events which really don’t deserve my attention but they are all happening at once and then it hits me. This is just a diversion. That other guy is throwing up road blocks, diversions, changing the road signs and all sorts of things to keep me from going down the current path I am on. He’s not out right attacking me because he knows I’m ready for that and will not be swayed by it. He’s trying sneak attacks and trickery.

So, what do I do now? Well, I can tell you one thing, I’m not stopping this 50 Days for anything and I’m going to do exactly what I set out to do. That other guy can just go jump in a lake or something because it’s not going to work. I’m a little stubborn. Okay, actually I’m a lot stubborn. I serve a Living God and it’s so much more worth it to me to give up my games for 50 Days and gain a closer, deeper relationship than having an easy life.

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode in this 50 Day adventure!

Results?

I’ll let you know when my sanity returns.

We’re trying it out right now with nap-time. So far I’ve had to go in and strip their room 100% bare of everything except the bed. They wouldn’t leave anything alone at all so I pulled it all out and put them back to bed. Now they are running all over the room. <V.B.S>

They are exhausted, ready to pass out, but this new freedom will not let them go into peaceful slumber. I may be forced to resort to a chair to sit in and read while I “enforce” staying in the bed until they fall asleep. It’s almost 5:00 PM and they have not had an afternoon nap. On Halloween night. With lots of sugar going to be involved.

I’ll let you know how this goes. If I survive. And if I manage to keep ANY sanity at all.

The Stay-at-home Grandma

A man I have known my whole life passed away today. He isn’t family, but he is as important as family. He and his wife were largely responsible for straightening out my dad (which wasn’t easy) and in the end helping him become the man he is today.

As I was growing up we used to visit them every other summer. It was a two day drive to get to them and we would stay part of our vacation with them and my aunt and uncle for the other. I can remember sitting in their kitchen and eating giant (to me anyway) sourdough pretzels, playing in the yard and visiting the cabin in the mountains. I have nothing but wonderful memories of our time there.

When my sister got married they even came to visit for the wedding. My son was only a few weeks old at the time and they helped take care of him on the wedding day so we could do our part.

I haven’t seen them in years, I’m not sure when the last time I saw them actually was. I should have gone to visit them. I should have spent more time with them. Now that is not something I can do. It surprises me how I feel the loss of someone I haven’t seen in years. Loss is like that. It surprises you at a moment when you least expect it and can surprise you with the mess of emotions to follow. Loss is like that.

I have the joy of caring for my twin grandchildren, Mach and Mari. Their mommy is in school 3 days a week so I stay home to take care of them. It’s kind of like being a stay-at-home mom, but since I’m grandma, things are a little different than when I raised my 2 kids.

This time around I am getting a chance to see things differently. I’m no so worried about “doing it wrong” as I am making sure they kids know about love and being loved and having happy memories. I’m not afraid either, not like I was when the kids were little. I spent those first years learning about being a parent afraid if I made a mistake the kids were turn out so messed up and everyone would know it was my fault. I know differently now. I can make mistakes and the kids can still turn out okay.

This time around I can laugh with them and smile, not freak out over things I didn’t understand. I know not to worry about every little bump and bruise because they are children and that is what children do. I know it’s okay to wait a moment to see if they cry or are really hurt before rushing in to pick them up since sometimes they don’t even realize it might have hurt.

Stay-at-home Grandma isn’t a bad gig. I wear out faster than I did the first time around, but that’s okay. I’m actually starting to get into a shape other than round and I am eating healthier since I’m making sure they are eating properly and we are doing more activities together.

I think I’ll keep doing it for now. The hugs and kisses every day, all day, are worth it!

“The word “doula” comes from the ancient Greek meaning “a woman who serves” and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period”

http://www.dona.org/mothers/index.php

I tell my mother’s on the big day, “I’m your servant today. Your wish is my command!”

But really, what does all that mean?

It means I will be with you during the process of labor and delivery, through the fun parts, the hard parts, and the beautiful moments of becoming a mother. If you need help with back labor, I can apply pressure to various areas to help relieve the pain. If you just want someone to hold your hand, I will hold your hand. If you want someone to tell everyone to get out of the room and never come back, I will tell them you need some time to yourself and politely ask them to leave for a while. If you are thirsty, I will get ice chips for you. If you are dad and are not sure what  is happening and are not sure what is going on, I will reassure you and help you understand as much as I can. If you are scared, I will answer your questions to the best of my ability and encourage you to relax. If you know there are certain things you do not want to have happen during your birth, I will do my best to remind you of your plan and the reasons you chose to make the decisions. And if you decide you want to alter your birth plan, I will support you and the new decisions you have made.

Does this make a difference? Does having someone who is on your side and working for you make any difference at all?

A woman who has a Doula with her tends to have a shorter labor and more success with breast feeding according to DONA and other research available.

I did not have the luxury of having a Doula when I gave birth. I wish I had known about them when I was pregnant. When I gave birth to my second child there was a nurse who did function almost as a doula and she was the biggest help to me. She did not make my husband feel useless, but helped him understand better what was going on with the situation since things were not going at all like my first birth. This in turn helped me.

Being a Doula has given me such a different outlook on life and has really changed my perspective. When I attend a birth I am witnessing the creation of a family. I love the expressions on the faces of mom’s and dad’s when they meet their baby for the first time. It is a glorious and wonderful thing. I am granted such a privilege when they allow me to assist them in any way possible.

I found a really cool pattern for a pillow and afghan so I’m hoping to have those on my etsy store soon. I’m hoping to have a full line of zombie’s, witches, eyeballs, scarecrows and ghosties all ready for sale. I’m also hoping to have some really cute monster hats for kids too!

I’m looking forward to crocheting some really fun stuff for the fall season and getting a good start on the holiday items. Be looking for the fun soon!

I’m so excited to start taking client, and even though my certification is not final, I can begin taking clients. If you, or someone you know, is pregnant and would like to have a doula, please contact me. I would love to talk with you!

In the last few days he  has been gone I have through a lot of thoughts about him. I have thought about how is mother kept hiding him from us and got him into places I would never have thought possible. I thought about the many times I have woke up with him sleeping just next to my head. He would get as close as possible to just touch my hair and let me know he was there. I have thought about his silly little crazy antics at the window when I come home from work and he’s meowing at me to hurry up and come get him so he can cuddle. It’s been so fun actually having a cat who would follow you around like a dog might. He does the head bonk (cat people will know what I mean) leans in to have his forehead kissed. He purrs when I pick him up and gloats like he just did all this so I would hold him even more. Those of you who are not cat lovers won’t get this. Cat lovers will understand. The last few days have been miserable and I have felt his absence in a way you would miss your best friend.

Now, to the “punishment” part… he will never, ever, ever get to escape again. How I am going to keep him from escaping is the part I have to figure out, but I will do it. I can’t take his loss like this ever again.

Serious cuddling in my future, and some serious “cat proofing” to get done.

I actually got paid $.30 to get a bottle of a brand of body wash I don’t normally use. I hear people tell me they don’t have the time to do it, but if you can get paid to do it, or walk out with a bag or two without paying anything from your pocket, how can you not find time to do it? My daughter and I set up our giant coupon book and we are going to try to take the coupons to the next level. We are not going to go so far as to hoard, but we are going to set up ourselves a small stash and the excess can go to our church food pantry.

The people I see every day who use coupons and add matching are telling me they have to do it because as gas and groceries keep going up they don’t have any choice. I am in the same boat. I’ll keep you posted as this craziness goes on and let you know how it goes. Who knows, you might decide the craziness isn’t so bad and join me and Calees!

When life begins to get to you it is not unusual to feel tired, cranky, unhappy and just plain exhausted. I am seeing my daughter putting forth her very best effort to finish a major project in for one of her college classes and still take care of the twins by herself. I look at her and the struggles she is going through and it is no wonder she is tired and sometimes weepy. I can’t imagine the stress she is under right now.

I see others who are going through the sadness of death, the loneliness of divorce or single-hood, the families who are worried about their children who are fighting for our country and I realize how difficult life is for everyone. I can not help but wonder , if everyone has such difficulties in life, why do some have so much joy and cheerfulness? If life is so difficult for so many, why do we hear so much laughter? It comes down to choices.

I don’t think I do this consciously, but I do have a tendency to believe how you think about things does make a difference in how you react to things. Some people have developed an attitude which states everything bad happens to me and if the day is good it is just because the bad things for the day have not happened yet. Nothing you say or do seems to make them happy. Life is nothing but something to be fought and is always difficult and there is no joy in the world.

I also know the opposite way of thinking is true. I love people who have never met a stranger, who have made a point to be happy despite the challenges life has brought to them. I think I fit into this category. I know bad things may happen during the day. I also know there are plenty of good things out there which can happen everyday. There is nothing more beautiful than the giggle of my grandchildren. They are so amazing and wonderful! They are so young and so innocent they don’t understand how to be anything but happy. This is my goal. Choose happiness. Choose laughter. Choose to be a person who lights up the room. It could be a whole lot more fun!